Secrets
by rusheringleek
Summary: It's difficult to keep a secret, and harder to maintain a reputation. Especially if your reputation depends on the fact that your secret remains a secret. Being famous makes it even harder; everyone's trying to screw you up. I'm going to tell you a story - mind you, it's a STORY - but first, a question. Can you keep a secret?
"James! I already told you not to lock the door!" Kendall yelled. He hated when his friend locked him out, especially when he needed to talk to James. He kept on knocking. Inside the room James and Carlos ran around trying to get things back in place. **They** hated it when someone interrupted them, especially when things were getting intimate.

"Why does Kendall always choose the worst moments to interrupt?" Carlos grumbled, already entering James's closet so as not to be seen. Meanwhile, Kendall's knocking became louder.

" **James**!"

"Kendall, calm down! I'm going. I was just… sleeping. I was taking a nap that you so rudely interrupted." James yelled back. Then he lowered his voice once again. "Carlos, we cannot keep hiding like this forever." He turned around to see Carlos closing the door to the closet – gone.

Outside of the room, Kendall wondered why his friend was taking so long. He paced outside the door until, finally, James opened it. His hair was all messed up, obviously due to the fact that he had just woken up, and his lips were slightly swollen.

 _Wait. His lips are swollen?_ Before Kendall could continue his train of thought, James spoke. "So, Kendall, what was so urgent that you couldn't wait until lunchtime?"

"Well, you know Carlos's birthday is around the corner, right?" James nodded, glancing at his closet and fully stepping out of the room, closing the door behind him. "Yeah, so Logan and I thought about a surprise party with all his family and the BTR cast and band and stuff. Everyone who's important to us and to him."

Remembering the time he caught Logan sneaking out of Kendall's room two days before, James laughed. "Oh, so that's why you and Logan have been hanging out a lot. You guys were planning all of this."

Kendall's eyes widened. "Yeah!" He said, his voice a bit higher because of his nerves, and he laughed a bit to cover it. "That's why. I guess I'll just tell Logan that you're in… See you around, James." And with that, Kendall quickly walked away, reaching Logan's room in a few steps and entering it.

Logan immediately looked up from his spot on the bed, and saw how distressed Kendall looked. "So what did he say?" He asked, nervously fiddling with his finger as he waited for an answer.

"He said he's in. But he also said… James realized that we'd been spending lots of time together. We're getting sloppy."

Logan sighed. "Why are you so keen on keeping this a secret? I'm not ashamed of us, are you? We can't keep hiding for much longer, Kendall. Sooner or later, they'll figure it out."

"They won't if we give them a good reason to be hanging out more than usual and if we stop acting recklessly." Kendall said, ignoring Logan's questions.

"What better reason then the truth?! Kendall, please. Tell me why you're so against the idea of telling them. They're our best friends, we can trust them. For God's sake, we all live together!"

" **Stop it**! I don't like to talk about this, remember?" Kendall yelled. He could remember it as if it had been yesterday… The day he realized he could never tell anyone about his secret. He must've been fourteen...

 _"These freaks. Why do they do that in front of kids? It's not natural!"_

 _A teenage Kendall looked up to his father. What would Father think if Kendall told him that he accepted it? That love was love, no matter in which form it was shown. Well, he knew what his father would think. He'd think that Kendall was just like them. And worse, he'd be right._

Kendall shook his head, trying to forget all of it. Logan saw that he was sad and reached out to try and calm him down, but Kendall just shrugged off his friend's comforting arms. Trying to hide his hurt expression, Logan watched as Kendall left the room, heading for the kitchen. Believing a drink would calm him down, he made his way into the kitchen, crashing into Carlos along the way.

After helping his friend get up, he opened his mouth to apologize, but Carlos beat him to it. "Sorry man, I should have looked where I was going. You were clearly distracted." Taking a closer look at his friend, Carlos started to worry. "Kendall, are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I'm just a bit tired… Tell the guys I'll be in my room in case anyone needs me." And with that, he grabbed a beer from the freezer and went to his room.

 _Weird_ , Carlos thought. But his mind rapidly drifted to another subject as he remembered his moments with Kendall before they had been interrupted. As soon as James had gone back into the room, Carlos had left, not wanting to risk them being interrupted again, and even less having a discussion with James. The last words he had said kept repeating in his mind. _We can't keep hiding like this forever… James is right; at some point we'll have to stop pretending to be something that we're not. Or else all our secrets will come to surface, and all the lies we've told too._

 **A/N: I had taken down this story to rewrite it, and am now in the process of rewriting the second chapter. The timeline of the chapters is no longer the same, since I have blended one or two chapters into a new one. If you guys used to read this, I'm sorry for taking it down and I appreciate your patience 3**

 **\- mari**


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